Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.
(Prov. 13:12 NIV)
This verse is so true in reading through friends and people's stories lately in the blogging world, my mind, and right in my own family. Whether it is waiting for an adoption to go through, healing to take place, relationships to mend, dishes and laundry piling up(yea, that makes a woman's heart sick, or overwhelmed, etc!!). It seems like life is halted and you/I just know I can't make it another second.
WHY oh WHY?
Here's some more frustrations:
" I know someday our hope will be brought back to life. But right now it is dying. And strangely there is some measure of peace in that." an adoptive mom
" Lindsay and Emily were whisked from the accident scene by the angels of God to their home in Heaven. Life is like a vapor. Would you be ushered into eternal bliss or eternal punishment if you were to die today?"
By Steve Bloem
"Why don't we know where we are suppose to be - nothing is happening - I'm sick of waiting for the fulfillment of having another child or adopting, buying/selling our house... I might as well go on GRAR and buy the biggest house that will fit my family in America if we are not suppose to be in Africa- take some control since I don't know what is suppose to happen or will happen!" My self-talk(negative)
So easy to get so sucked into the 'American Way":
Put so well by another momma: "What I thought I Wanted was a lot of money (tho, not going to lie-sometimes money just makes things a lot more "simple" to keep up in Amercia) a huge home with all of the "fixin's", white picket fence, 2 children, a boy and a girl-white ones, a brand new car every 3 years, designer hand bags, tiffany jewelry, the biggest diamond, the MOST friends, a boat, a cottage, exotic vacations, etc, etc (you get my point)...."
I easily forget our whole experience in Ethiopia and desire to go back which is replaced with my little world of complaining to make me 'feel' better that I don't know where we are suppose to be.
THAN as I was listening and crying all the way through this past weeks sermon I was HIT big time! Of course it was on grumbling and complaining, how we handle it, the Israelites traveling to the Promised Land that was suppose to take 11 days and it took them 40 years to get there. WHY? Their complaining about the food they were given, etc!
Yup- that is me and I know we are all in it together!
Than this was my self-talk: "Maybe why God has not lead us where I think we should go is because I am grumbling about where I am now like the Isrealites. Not being thankful for my two beautiful children(which I am), the fact that I have a roof over my head. I desire and long for more children but God its in your timing- thank you for what I have and I want to enjoy this time."
The verse above IS true- in God's time will a Tree come to Life- and it will be even sweeter than my timing! In the mean time how am I grumbling- taking it to God and trusting HIM, being thankful and letting Him show us where to be OR heading to GRAR/a store/a person to take control. Hurting the people around me because of my little insecurities- God has much bigger plans in these little moments of frustrations.
They are a sign to turn our/my head toward God! Only in that moment with God will He begin to lead me to peace about the situation, saying no or yes or wait.
The Tree will come to life His way and more sweet that what I could control and make happen!
